


Fit For A Prince

by AEpixie7



Series: Ineffable Bureaucracy [10]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Demonic use for Twitter, Domestic Fluff, F/M, House Hunting, Humor, Idiots in Love, Selfies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-12-09 12:28:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20994803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AEpixie7/pseuds/AEpixie7
Summary: Gabriel promised Beelz he would find a place for them so they wouldn't have to keep meeting up in hotels, and boy, did that dumbass deliver.





	Fit For A Prince

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this one's so short, it would've been quite a bit of whiplash to jump from the humor of this update to the smut of the next, so I split them up.

“Seriouzzzzly?” Beelzebub whined as Gabriel covered her eyes with his large hand. “I'm thousandzzz of years old, why are you hiding this from me like a birthday cake from a child? Just let me see it.” 

“No. I'm going to miracle us there, and I want you to experience the place with your other senses before you see it. I think you'll find I've outdone myself. I found a place where we can meet up from now on that fits both our needs.”

Beelzebub sighed, resisting the urge to just tip her jaw up and bite his hand. “Fine. Just hurry up already, I told you I wanted to break the place in, and I've been delayed so long in Hell I'm about ready to rip all your impeccable clothes off with my teeth.”

Gabriel chuckled in her ear. “As you command, my Prince.”

She felt the familiar numbing sensation of being miracled somewhere new, and immediately shivered at a rush of cold air. Gabriel really should’ve known a demon who spent most of her time surrounded by Hellfire would not enjoy the cold. “Not off to a good start, Gabriel. It's so cold…”

She heard the unmistakable rustle of feathers as he spread his wings, and soon the cold wind dissipated, his free arm wrapping around her stomach and pulling her close to his warm body. “That’s what your angel is here for. Now what else do you feel? Describe it.”

She huffed in annoyance, his hand still resting over her eyes. She took a deep breath in and exhaled, letting her senses wander around her. It was quiet. _So_ quiet. Not anything like the noise and bustle of Hell. That was refreshing, at least. The air was crisp and smelled very faintly of pine. She felt little pebbles of snow against her cheeks that quickly melted with her body heat.

“Oh, come on Gabriel, just let me see!” she snapped, unable to cover up the little smile in her voice.

“Alright, alright,” he said, removing his hand, though his wings were wrapped around both of them in a cocoon to shield them from the cold and snow. He folded his wings back behind him, and Beelzebub actually fell back against his chest in shock, her jaw dropping and her breath escaping in a visible fog. 

“Gabriel… is that… a fucking _castle?!_”

He leaned down to rest his chin on her shoulder, his warm breath slithering over her skin as he kissed just beneath her ear, the warmth spreading through her entire body as he closed his arms tightly around her middle. “Yes it is. It's _our_ castle.”

She choked out a surprised noise, pushing his arms away as she took a few disbelieving steps forward. The castle was magnificent, its light grey stone barely a contrast to the snowy landscape all around it. It stood majestically at the crest of a mountain, looking out over a large forested valley and an icy blue lake below. It was opulent, it was ridiculous, it was _too much_. 

“You can’t be seriouszzzz Gabriel!” she shouted, the snow crunching beneath her boots as she spun around to face him, her jaw unable to remain closed for very long. “This izzzz… it's _insane!_ I thought you'd find a flat somewhere in a forgotten little town in Mexico, or a cottage, or… _something_ but… a castle?!”

Gabriel looked suddenly panicked, and he wrestled with his coat and pulled it tighter around himself, his hair whipping around in the wind and his eyes foggy with doubt. “Well I just… I thought… you're a Prince, after all. A Prince deserves a castle.”

She froze, her expression going blank as she straightened. Gabriel fidgeted again, his wings pulling tightly against his back as he rubbed his arms, either from cold or anxiety, she couldn’t quite be sure. “It’s too much, isn't it? You don't like it.”

“Gabriel, this is so fucking ridiculous. _You’re_ ridiculous,” she said, watching him shiver in the cold for a moment, his shoulders sinking as his wings drifted down into the snow. 

“_I love it._”

She darted toward him and leapt, his arms catching her as she wrapped her legs around his waist, kissing him breathless. Gabriel cradled her under her rear, spinning her around and smiling against her mouth. His wings perked up, fluttering happily behind him as her fingers ventured into his feathers to pet them fondly. 

“Really? You like it?”

“Gabriel it's… a fucking _castle_ are you kidding me?! It's so fucking stupid and extra and _how the fuck_… did you even get it? Where _are we_ even?” she laughed, still clinging to Gabriel's neck as she admired the swirl of snow around them. 

“The Swiss Alps. And let’s just say… a very old historic castle was in need of a benefactor and… one miraculously showed up.”

“Gabriel… that’zzz a pretty sizeable miracle,” she said, her tone serious as she looked down at him sternly. “Don’t you think that might draw some unwanted attention?”

“Ah. Yes, well… I've got that bit taken care of. I'll explain later. Now…” he dropped her legs and allowed her to plant in the snow in front of him, though his hands remained squeezing both her ass cheeks as he leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Did I mention it's got a dungeon. With _shackles?_”

Beelzebub shivered violently and wrapped both ends of his scarf in her fists, tucking a thigh neatly between his legs. “Oohhh, pet, you spoil me.”

Gabriel growled and nipped at her ear, making her forget about the cold entirely with the amount of warmth that was bursting from every corner of her corporation.

“Why don’t you let me show you around. And then maybe we can uh… _break the place in?_” Gabriel asked, pulling reluctantly away and taking her hand in his. She walked alongside him as they approached the looming beast of a castle, before Beelzebub stopped, planting her feet and yanking Gabriel's arm. 

“Hold up. I just have to… do something…” she smiled, pulling her phone out of her pocket and spinning around so the castle was behind her. She positioned herself and Gabriel in view of the reverse lens, making sure the nearest tower of the castle was in view in the background.

“What are you doing?” Gabriel asked, smiling down at her.

“Taking a selfie.”

She flipped the camera a middle finger and snapped the picture, though clearly Gabriel had never been included in a selfie before because he remained smiling down at her, completely oblivious of the camera. Beelzebub hesitated when she realized how adoringly he was looking at her in the photo. _Did he always look at her like that when she wasn’t paying attention?_

She shook herself out of her thoughts and navigated to Twitter, drafting a new tweet with the photo attached.

**@AJCrowley my angel bought me a castle. Eat shit, hater.**

_Tweet Sent._

A few moments later, in the back room of a bookshop in SoHo, an iPhone pinged, and the inventor of the selfie found himself choking on his Earl Grey.

**Author's Note:**

> Readers: But author, isn't a public Tweet a threat to their secrecy?  
Me, sweating: Psh as if anyone else in Hell knows how to use fucking Twitter.
> 
> Also... I might get an artist to commission that selfie she took, cuz it sounds ADORABLE. Now to find an artist! (If anyone knows of an artist who draws Bureaucracy or who would be open to doing it, please hit me up!)


End file.
